Everybody have his or her own dream mate. For years,
I have an ideal dream guy. I want to fall in love with guy who is athletic, surfer,
kids lover, and the list goes on. Instead,
I fell hard for a guy who is opposite of my dream guy. I remember how I find him with a short
beard so attractive. He always makes me feel good as a person. It took me a
while to realize and accept that I have intense feelings for him. Finally, I understand
that love suppose to be happening in a natural way.
With my strong feelings for him… My life changed forever.
Because of HIM… My perspective of love changed. My feelings for him were very
powerful and unique. I never have these feelings with other guys. Ever. It was
scary and exciting experience for me.
For months and months, I kept these feelings to myself.
Finally, one day, I told him how I feel about him. Unfortunately, he is not on
the same page as I do. I was heart broken. He said that he is not ready to commit a relationship with anyone. Maybe I
am not his type, or we do not share the same values, or he thinks I am too good
for him. It is something I will never understand him.
Even thought he doesn’t want me. I am forever graceful that
he taught me a lot about life. He is quietly gorgeous but I always catch his
geeky moments. He is not afraid to show who he is. He is always fun and knows
just how to get me laughing at any moment. I love how he takes his life and
goals seriously.
This picture always makes me smile. I remember the week I
became really sick. He was concerned about me. One day, he bought and brought
me a hot tea with honey to work. Despite the fact I was really sick… his surprise
put a smile on my face.
Now, I have a new fear. What if I will never find a love of
my life who makes me feel good as he did?
