25 things i’ve learned in my 20s

By: Ryan O'Connell

1. You can’t date a jerk and expect to turn them into a good person. Jerks are fully committed to being unpleasant. Those brief moments of tenderness they give you are designed to trip you up and give you false hope. It’s best to stay away altogether.
2. The rumors are true: your metabolism does slow down as you get older! That means if you’re still eating whatever you want, there’s a good chance you’ll start to gain an awkward amount of weight. It won’t be too drastic but your clothes will start to hang differently on your body and you’ll feel an overall feeling of unattractiveness. Start to be conscious of what you eat and strive to live a healthier lifestyle if you want to get your teen body back. (Let’s be real though, that might not ever come back.)
3. You’re going to lose touch with a lot of your friends. With some people, it will be expected but with others it will feel like a punch to the stomach. No friendship is truly safe in your twenties. You’re undergoing so many personal and professional changes that there’s bound to be some casualties along the way. Don’t worry though. You’ll end up with the ones that matter. If someone’s no longer in your life, it’s for a reason.
4. You’ll be jealous of everyone who’s more successful than you. That’s okay. Just transfer that jealousy into something productive, like working really hard so you can one day eclipse them and make them feel jealous of YOU.
5. You’ll question every decision you make and never feel completely certain that you made the right choice. It’s pointless to wonder though. You’re here now so you might as well make it be the right decision.
6. You’re going to give your heart to a few people who don’t deserve it. Then, one day you’ll come to your senses and ask them to give it back.
7. You’ll see your parents get older. You’ll come home during Christmas break and see new lines developing on their faces. One day it’ll just hit you that your parents are old and going to die. There’s nothing you can do about it, besides treat them with kindness and visit as much as your budget permits.
8. You’ll have a boss who makes you feel like you’re nothing. It doesn’t have to be in a Devil Wears Prada way. The cruelty can be much more subtle. Don’t let them get to you though. They have no idea who the hell you really are and you’re probably going to have their job someday so…
9. Doing drugs is fun until it’s not, until it starts affecting your life in negative ways and leaves you feeling guilty and wrecked. If that happens, you should stop doing them.
10. You’re going to puke in public. It’s fine. No one cares. Just puke.
11. You’ll know how to make twenty dollars last an entire week because you spent almost all of your paycheck on groceries at Whole Foods and drunk cab rides. This lesson in frugality will serve you well.
12. You’re going to betray your convictions. You’re going to feel shame. You’re going to continue to put yourself in situations that aren’t good for you. And then, slowly but surely, it will become less frequent. It might not ever go away completely but it won’t be as bad. In the meantime, stop shame spiraling about it. It gets you nowhere.
13. Loving yourself is hard. Hating yourself is harder.
14. You’re going to hook up with someone who you would never touch in the daylight sober. Just don’t freak out too much about it. Consider it to be your good deed for the day.
15. You’re going to have people in your life who are toxic. They may say that they love you, they may say that they have your back, but they don’t. Get rid of them.
16. You’ll have moments with someone that are so intense, it’ll feel like you’ve been electrocuted back to life. You’ll hold on to these moments for a long time. They’ll give you hope when you’re going through the motions.
17. You’ll always care about your first love. That doesn’t make you crazy, it just makes you human. When relationships end, it’s not so cut and dry. You carry everyone you’ve ever loved into every relationship thereafter.
18. You’ll enter your twenties as a fashion disaster and (hopefully) leave them looking fantastic. If you don’t know how to put yourself together by then, I really don’t know what to tell you.
19. You’ll realize that the Internet can be a cruel son of a bitch but, you know, http://www.whatever.com.
20. So much of what you think matters doesn’t actually matter at all. It’s kind of rude. Like, thanks for making me believe in things that are ultimately so inconsequential, you jerk.
21. You’ll treat someone terribly. Whether it to be a lover or your friend, there’ll be someone whose feelings you take for granted. We focus too much on whether or not someone is hurting us. The reality is that we might actually be the one who’s hurting someone.
22. Doing “grown-up things” doesn’t make you a grown up. Shopping for housewares, buying a plant, embracing domesticity — these things don’t create maturity. If you’re still a baby who hasn’t figured things out, you’ll remain a baby, no matter how many times you pay your rent on time.
23. Don’t force yourself into loving anyone. If it’s not working in the beginning, it’s probably not going to work ever.
24. You are so lucky to have everything that you have. Stop crying about an unreturned text message and get some perspective.
25. Don’t go too long without having sex. Ever.

What do you think of this? I must confess... all of them are very TRUE!

well said...

other quote...

"All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them."

       - Walt Disney 

it's true...

remembering baby ryen

April 13, 2007-May 14, 2008

Let me tell you about baby Ryen Alexander Garcia. He was an adorable baby who only lived for a year, a month, and a day. His deep dark brown eyes and his giggly smile will melt your heart forever.

I remember the day I first met him. He was a premature baby so he was only five pounds when I first saw him. During my winter break from college, I finally held him for the first time and I couldn’t believe how much he grew. Unlike his older brother and sister (they both were "serious" babies), he was a very CHEERFUL baby who always laugh easily.  It is hard to explain, indeed, he was a very special baby. His personality was very LOUD and CHARMING. My aunt who was Ryen’s grandmother lived behind my family’s apartment so I always find a time to visit them so I could hold baby Ryen. I love to make some funny sounds to make him laugh. After my winter break was over, I headed back to college. Little I knew that I would never see him alive again.

I will never forget the day my family came to Washington DC for my graduation from Gallaudet University with a bachelor degree. That day, I found that baby Ryen was GONE forever. I couldn’t believe it. I was angry with God for taking him away from our family too early. His funeral was heartbreaking. It was another reminder for me that life is too short. Looking at his lifeless body, again, I couldn’t believe how much he grew. He got bigger, his sweet and soft skin color got darker, and his fine dark hair got longer. I was very sad that I couldn’t see his giggly smile for one more time. 

Today, it is hard to believe he would have been almost six years old. We cannot grieve over his death forever. We must remember the good time we had with him. Ryen, I hope you are enjoying your time in beautiful heaven.  Although, you were only my second cousin, you had no idea how much you impacted me. I hope to see you someday again. I love you, sweet handsome baby Ryen. 

the five love languages

Have you read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman? I haven’t finish reading this book yet. So far, I think it is a good book. Please understand it is NOT all about romantic or it is for couples only. The five love languages are also relevant to platonic relationships such as family, friends, or coworkers. Please remember this.

The five love languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Quality time is what matters me the most. I enjoy my time with my friends, family, and coworkers when it comes to traveling, go out for dinner, going to different places, and even spending our time at my home.

Last September, I was under stressed that I really want to be with my friends for the day. A friend of mine decided to drop the plan with me and other friend. My quality time with them blew out. I learned my lesson that I need to stop have a high expectation from my friends when it come to quality time. Last Christmas, I enjoyed being with my friend. It was nice because I wasn’t alone. Funny, he felt bad that we didn’t do much that day. As for me, I don’t care… as long I am having a quality time with someone on Christmas day. That’s what matters me the most. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be hurtful for me.

Let me share one of my favorite quotes from book: “Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese form English. No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your suppose understand only Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other.”

What’s your love language? You can take a quiz online to find out! The website have the five languages of apology and the five languages of appreciation, too. Very interesting? :-)

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

coach bill snape

I have many fond memories with Coach Bill. So many great memories that I could easily write a book!  

    
It was fall of 2004, I was a freshman, and I remember the first swimming team meeting very clearly; new Head Coach Bill Snape was very nervous and awkward that day. He asked one of the hearing swimmer's to interpret for him. I remember thinking to myself  “Oh crap, this new coach knows no American Sign Language (ASL)”. I was disappointed with Gallaudet University because they hired someone that didn't know sign language!!! At the same time I was nervous as well to begin season. After the meeting, I remember I told him that I am not good enough to be on team since I only had few years of swimming experience. He convinced me to be on swimming team. I am so glad that I took his advice. The daily practices were always fun because of him and I remember how I always looked forward to going to practice everyday. That following summer after the first season, Bill took ASL classes. I was and still am very impressed with him because he picked up ASL very quickly. He worked so hard to improve the communication between himself and the team and I was so impressed by that. He cared about each one of us like we were his own children. He always would  make sure I had a smile on my face. Later during my college years, I even became his personal assistant- I  helped him recruit new swimmers to be part of our team, haha.    

    
I will never forget the day he came up to me and told me that I will be doing 200 yards butterfly event for CAC Championship. He smiled at me while I was so ready to break down! It was a great opportunity for me do this event even though long-distance events were never my strong point.

Bill, thank you for being such a WONDERFUL and AMAZING coach. You are like a father to me. Looking back, now I can say that Gallaudet University made a best decision in hiring you. I had an opportunity to be part of USA Deaf Swimming in 2007 because of you, Coach Bill. Also, it was a pleasure to work with him as one of assistant coaches for a short time during graduate school.  I am proud to say he helped swimmers break many old records.

Also… I would like to thank his family for allowing him to spend hours and hours with the Gallaudet University swimming team. His family knows that being with the team made Bill happy.

Most importantly, THANK YOU for BELIEVING in ME. I couldn’t ask for a better coach!

my long hair

Many people won't believe me that I used to have a really really really long hair! Here's two old pictures of me with my long hair. These pictures- taken in May 2004 :-)

my sunday cuddle

Hurricane Sandy was CRAZY and NASTY. Not able to get out of house often because of safety. No work for a week. ESDAA volleyball tournament cancelled. ING NYC Marathon cancelled.

The best part... I spent a lot of time with my Maile.

my father

I craved a father who I could confide in. Instead, my father put me down and screwed with my head. So I will never be close to my father.

Thanks to my father, sometimes, I have a hard time trusting men. I am getting better at this, tho. No child deserves abuse!